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thank you @noelle for this beautiful artwork showing exactly what i do to @InspectorCaracal on a regular basis

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HI! i'm Harp!

i came to mastodon as a tumblr refugee, and have stuck around ever since!

i'm 31, use she/her pronouns, and am the token cishet lol. i'm white to the point where i think green fluff and ham salad are valid foodstuffs to put in your mouth and eat. despite these things, i try my best to not be shitty, and am thankful to many people on mastodon trusting in me enough to help me learn! i'm christian so expect some occasional christianposting; i'm also southern and am a bit defensive about the good parts of this culture (aka: the parts we stole from the slaves. sorry folks y'all know i'm right, let's go burn some confederate flags)

i'm a disabled spoonie who deals with chronic illnesses, especially chronic pain. i did become a cyborg though about half of it, which is pretty fuckin rad if i do say so and i highly recommend that

because of the aforementioned disability, my brain is usually in some type of scramble. i try to tw/cw for stuff as i can, but i also admit that sometimes i miss stuff. similarly, i usually don't caption my images because of pure conflicting needs.

i have a puppy named Holly who is EXTREMELY GOOD, and pictures of her go in the tag! i also sometimes try to do an art and only remember to tag it half the time with , but it is far more rare whoops.

one of my main hobbies is also , which i do not wear often due to health reasons but i am in love with anyway! (NO, NOT THE FETISH. please don't darken my door with that evil, leave me to my rufflepile in peace) i'm a big advocate for plus-sized and disabled lolitas, and my tastes lean more towards classic though really it's "whatever i can get" LOL! i plan to continue chronicling my journey - slowly - at sweetdisabled.com .

i am also, nominally, a furry. my fursonas include a black bear with purple-lightning claws, and an opal carbuncle (ffxiv style!).

other than that, i play a lot of computer games! where to find me:

:ffxivmsq_comp:​ Calamity Janine on Mateus calamityjanine.carrd.co/ , occasionally also alts like Davalia Thousandfoe on Mateus

:animal_crossing:​ Harp of Tybee Island in Animal Crossing!

:pokeball:​ Pokemon Sword as Harp!

Occasionally also on 👩‍🚀 ⚔️ Warframe for Switch as Harpalyce, and :splatoon:​ Splatoon 2 as Harp♪ !

my switch code is SW-4830-7360-8912 ! feel free to add me (though perhaps poke me so i know who you are if you feel inclined - i'm very bad at connecting people from one online space to the next, lol!)

if i have tricked you into thinking i am a good poster who says interesting and good things: you poor unfortunate soul.

also i am probably one of the main reasons why ellie made the new character limit so big. some people are wordsmiths. i am a word mason constructing walls of text. sorry about blocking you in here fortunado, i gotta montressor sometimes

please see unlisted replies for a few more FAQs, delving into details for things listed above!

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"what do you mean when you say you won't write image descriptions?!" 

i mean just what i said - it's a conflicting accessibility issue for me.

between the anxiety, the chronic illness/lack of spoons, and the chronic pain often exacerbated by typing at times, writing captions for me is really stressful. i get into loops of stressing about it and then beating myself up about it and suddenly every post is a thirty minute long ordeal of me screaming about trying to be as accurate as possible before i collapse into a sobbing heap.

it's not a fun or good time!

if you use a screen reader and you can't follow me or even have to mute me because of this - it's like i said about the cw-ing situation. i completely understand! please do not let politeness towards me put you in danger or severe aggravation.

but also please don't yell at me for not doing captions. (and this goes double if you aren't using a screen reader, etc. i have consistently caught flak from people crusading on someone else's behalf, and people who are actually in the same disability foxhole totally understand, lol.)

it's not something i'm doing because i am lazy, or because i am too cool for it. it's not something i'm doing because i think it gets in the way of "getting clout". it's something i'm doing because i'm disabled. and sometimes being disabled means you're... dis... able... to do the thing.... yknow?

i'm not a perfect content machine. i mean i'm unable to work folks, the government even said "lmao shit's fucky, here's your official disabled status". and if you come in and yell at me for not being such, i am liable to come get snippy at you.

however, if you have the spoons to do what i cannot - and if you're willing to treat me with basic decency instead of, say, stealing my posts and saying i don't deserve "the clout" while being so lazy - i happily welcome people who are willing to do me the generous kindness of helping caption what i can't.

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"what do you mean you're bad at remembering content warnings??" 

i mean just that. i think they're valuable and i don't want to say anyone is wrong for using them! (though we could talk about how, like any other tool, there is a possibility for this system to be misused, and the meta discussions therein, but that's another thread.) just that because i'm disabled, i can't offer anyone a completely perfect experience where i ALWAYS tag things and mark things perfectly.

if you need to not follow or even mute me because of this, i completely understand and in fact i encourage it! please don't put yourself in danger for the sake of being polite to me!

if you see something i've not cw'd appropriately, please also feel totally free to gently nudge me about it. odds are extremely, extremely good that i am, in fact, just dealing with spaghetti brain and genuinely forgot lol.

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"harp, the fuck do you mean that you're a cyborg?" 

i have a spinal cord stimulator to help with some neuropathic pain! it does a fantastic job of dealing with it. the pain is because i had shingles, which is when the chicken pox comes around for round two. it particularly likes chewing on your nerves, and can leave lasting damage.

so the spinal cord stimulator is a little thing that runs an electric current 'upstream' of the damaged nerve. instead of feeling pain, i just feel the white noise kind of tingle of... well, the electricity. this pretty well covers up all of the pain, and works great!

in other words:

my body: NOOOO YOU CAN'T JUST COVER UP THESE PAIN SIGNALS WITH ELECTRICITY THAT'S NOT HOW IT WOOORRRKSSS NOOOOO

me: he he cyborg bits go bzzz

i am indeed a cyborg, complete with battery pack implanted under my skin just above my butt and remote control. it's pretty fuckin great! i may still be dealing with other health issues, but if you are wondering more details, feel free to poke me and i'll tell you more as best i can!

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in which a wigglytuff screams at her own body 

YES I KNOW THERE'S RAIN BUT ALL THE RAIN IS AT LEAST 2 STATES AWAY. IT'S FAR AWAY FROM US. I AM AWARE THAT CONCEPTUALLY RAIN EXISTS IN LOCATIONS DIFFERENT FROM OUR OWN. YOU CAN STOP FUCKING YELLING ABOUT IT, SHOULDER!!!! YOU CAN SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT!!!

You are trying to cross the river of Monads with a boat that can hold you and one other person. With you is a cat furry, a dog furry, and a rat furry. If left alone, the cat furry and the dog furry will start discourse. Likewise, the rat furry and the cat furry will start discourse. How do you cross the river without blowing up the timeline with "CW: meta"?

New oldest known painting dropped, its from 45,000 years ago and it’s a cute lil piggie

i was really into horses when i was a kid

does anyone else remember Grand Champions?

the boy equivalent of a horse girl is a cowboy 😎​🤠​

one time ross and carrie of ONRAC went to a ufo conference and saw a white plastic bag caught in the wind and made a joke about it being a ufo

and then later people unironically mentioned the "white thing" floating around that they thought was a UFO but it was just a white plastic bag

also here is a nice infographic about rattie body language that APOPO HeroRats posted today, it's just some useful information

however i think my favourite part is the inclusion of "pancake" as a mood

tired: open source software

wired: open source polly pocket 3d printed playsets

and you know i'm talking about the oldschool ones when polly pocket was proper tiny and a dire choking hazard. and the actual dolls would get lost basically as soon as you sneezed. but you could have your locket playset on and be the coolest motherfucker on the playground

i'm just saying if the dolls are so easily lose-able you may as well be able to print yourself up a replacement

Here’s an image of a titration but I know no ones going to pay attention and is just gonna laugh at the word “stop cock”

Okay so you're in this situation, right? You gotta cross a river but you need to take a sheep in wolf's clothing, a wolf in a sheep fursuit, and Mika who is currently posting about kinning cabbage across the river.

@Morgan @wigglytuffitout It has to do with early development of the overall bodyplan. It's part of a family of "hedgehog" genes that were so-called because fruitflies with mutated versions of the first one they discovered looked spiky.

Biologically speaking, we all have fictional characters inside of us.
Achilles, Sonic the Hedgehog, Pikachu...

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Elekk: Gameing and Other Delightful Pursuits

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