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meds (-) 

on the plus side I am very tired so maybe the other generic was not extremely working on me

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meds (-) 

the problem here is that these are my sleep meds. and I cannot sleep if I am too paranoid or if I am seeing the writhing void.

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meds (-) 

I am 85% sure this clonidine generic makes me have the weird fairly vivid wibbly nightmare stuff as I fall asleep, and also I think makes me a little paranoid, because those side effects have not been a thing and today they are Back

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meds (-) 

never change my kriffing generic again I hate this

like, Ahene will derail an everything every so often, but Velnira is the *very worst perpetrator* of this somehow. jail for good bean. jail for one thousand years

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it is a Thing that the full light side good bean consular is, to date, the Liminality/Discontent cast’s biggest perpetrator of “actually how about I entirely derail an everything,” featuring such events as:

- stole historically interesting droids to give to twi’leks who needed to defend themselves

- let’s acquire several new and forbidden companions

- The Belsavis Incident

- apparently deciding that she is going to help Vaylin whether I, the other characters, or the game writers like it or not

- relatedly to the last point there, getting captured during the Zakuul arc

honestly this snippet is a lot less ready for consumption than I remembered but my point still stands

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a snippet of fanfic i wrote like 3+ years ago, in the far future of a fic that is mostly unwritten. all you need to know is through Events anakin has gotten himself possessed by palpatine and also most of the og jedi council is in hiding 

“Oh, Luminara,” Sidious said, in a voice that was suddenly honey and venom. He smiled, and she remembered in a flash how Anakin had smiled when he was younger—lopsided and brazen and nothing like this. “I knew you’d figure it out.” He stood up, a tiny flick of his fingers sliding the meditation cushion over into a corner. “It’s too late, of course, but you wouldn’t be here if it weren’t.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Luminara asked, arching an eyebrow. “I may not be able to defeat you alone, but even you can’t hide such a disturbance in the middle of the temple. You’ve lost, one way or another.”

He stepped towards her, shaking his head. “It would seem that way, wouldn’t it? Either you kill me here, or force me to reveal my dark nature to defend myself.” He chuckled quietly. “Of course, you overlooked two things.”

Luminara knew she shouldn’t let him keep stalling. She knew, but she needed to ask anyway. “And those would be?” She kept one hand on the hilt of her lightsaber. She was acutely aware of how long it had been since she’d really had a chance to practice. Being Grand Master kept one busy…

“Firstly, you have <I>drastically</I> underestimated my skills. Even the Force cannot truly see me for what I am.” He walked slowly forwards, right up to where Luminara stood frozen. She found herself somehow unable to tear her eyes away from his, despite her best efforts. “And secondly, Grand Master…?” The title was mocking, false deference slithering off his tongue like something serpentine. “You aren’t actually trying to stop me.”

“What?” The question slipped out before Luminara could stop herself. It was just so <I>absurd</I>—she had no way of responding.

“I see you haven’t connected all the dots yet.” Sidious shook his head again, <I>tsk</I>ing quietly. “It’s terribly simple, Master Unduli. You didn’t come here to kill me. That was never what you wanted from this.” He was standing just in front of her now, his saber still nowhere to be seen. “No. You’re here because you wanted to hear what I had to say.” His smile spread, lips curling up in a long smirk. It was the sort of smugness that <I>begged</I> the onlooker to do something about it—and reveled in the knowledge that they wouldn’t. “You were <I>curious</I>,” he whispered, “weren’t you?”

Luminara shivered in revulsion, and perhaps a trace more fear than she wanted to admit. “Of course not,” she said, keeping her voice calm and even. “There’s nothing more that I need to know from you.”

“Then why is your saber still on your belt?” Sidious reached out and hooked two fingers under the hilt, lifting it slightly. “Go on, then,” he said. “Draw your weapon. Strike down the man who has corrupted your beloved order.”

She shoved him back with one hand, fumbling to draw her saber with the other—she <I>was</I> off-balance, though she wanted to deny it—and then paused. His expression hadn’t faltered.

Luminara shifted her grip on the hilt and closed her other hand around it. “If that is how you feel,” she said, “then surrender.”

“Come, now. We both know that won’t happen.” He raised a hand, slowly, and laughed when she stiffened. “There’s no need for this hesitation, Luminara,” he said, eyebrows climbing in feigned surprise. “I know you want to kill me. There’s anger in you—you’ve almost forgotten what it feels like, haven’t you?” The false surprise turned into an equally insincere pity. “But you feel it now.”

“I will not strike you in anger,” Luminara said, her hands steady.

“And why not?” Sidious asked. “Surely, <I>you</I> are strong enough that this one act will not break you. You are the Grand Master, after all, not some fragile padawan.” She didn’t move, and his smile returned. “No?”

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bad star wars opinions, cont 

like, I could have written Palpatine so much better

let me write Palpatine

he will sound a lot less like a used car salesman

a used car salesman who can’t take yes for an answer

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bad star wars opinions 

anyway I’m still mad at RotS for having so many believable reasons for Anakin to turn and then somehow writing it in the worst way possible anyway

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hard unrelated left turn into grief, take that as a big old DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT 

apparently we have reached the phase of the grieving process where I am having intense feelings about *completely unrelated* things and also it’s 5 am

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if I could figure out how to save toots as drafts in this app you would be hearing so many more opinions about Star Wars

io boosted

"I have ADHD! My brain juice is created strangely! There's, like, a guy at the back who makes it, and I don't know what he looks like or what his core values are. I'm like, 'one brain juice please,' and then the guy at the counter's like, 'eh, I don't know...', and then I go out and I look at a building and he runs up and goes 'here you go! here's the brain juice!' And I'm like, 'oh, but I didn't order it.' That's how ADHD works."

religion, non-personal but positive 

current status: reminded that I *really like* learning about religion

especially in regards to all of the different groups of humans that got together to say “community is holy”

objectively it’s not great that the sky is getting light out there but there’s just

something nice about seeing it

kotor spoilers everyone knows 

I have some sympathy for the poor man here because the “green recruit” did in fact immediately take over the mission through sheer force of personality and he forgot she was supposed to be his subordinate like three days ago

and there is approximately zero chance that the local amnesiac Sith is ever going to feel like she has to say yes to *anything*, so… no harm *actually* done (except to Carth’s nerves)

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kotor, carth’s accidental workplace harassment 

it continues to be very funny to me that Hes and Carth flirt several times and then just sort of. move away from that by mutual agreement

“mutual agreement” being what I am calling “Hes makes a very amused snarky comment about which of them was forgetting his rank *now* and he has a minor crisis of conscience over hitting on a *green recruit*, what the kriff was he *doing*—”

the current Liminality status is “and I will sprinkle in a little bureaucracy, as a treat”

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Elekk: Gameing and Other Delightful Pursuits

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