I done fucked up and I'm sorry
What happened last night was way off base, and I crossed the line.
What I wanted to express, and what I ended up expressing were two vastly different things. Trying to explain by telling you what my intent was, wont fix what I did.
Apologizing won't fix what I did, but hopefully I can make amends, and by recognizing what I did wrong maybe we can learn something together.
I done fucked up and I'm sorry
@Are0h , I want to apologize for how I was trying to leverage “show that you are really good” as to demand “good behaviour”, which I was trying to force out of the situation.
I was completely wrong about it, and in reality you were getting harassed. This was honestly really fucked up by me. And there’s no excuse for this. I am sorry. I’m sorry that I put you in that situation, that I tried to leverage some kind of “good behavior” to make you change.
I done fucked up and I'm sorry
@Are0h I can’t take it back, I know that. But I am sorry.
My own mh/memory issues
I can best describe it as that my brain keeps resetting, and I forget interactions I’ve had with people. Or interactions I’ve seen but not engaged it. The ones I remember the most are always my first hand experiences. But even then it kind of disappears.
As I said in that linked toot, it’s both a blessing and a bane, because I will do shit like this.
Whether it be defending someone who doesn’t deserve it, whether it be boosting or talking with known harassers.
Lessons we learn/I'm sorry
What did I learn? No matter how well meaning I am, if I’m already exhausted, and know for a fact that I have brain fog, I need to not engage in conversations where I’m trying to defend anyone.
It’s more about the fact that I can’t fully assess the situation, rather than my words will come out wrong.
When I want to ask someone to step back and assess the situation, I need to do it as well.
I will try to do better, and I hope you can all forgive me.
My own mh/memory issues
@maloki I'm not a "known harrasser", please don't drag my name through the ground
My own mh/memory issues
@zeezeemoomoo I didn't mention your name.
My own mh/memory issues
@maloki you quite clearly implied it was me and you also apologised TO the person who was bullyign me
all while claiming to be neutral
My own mh/memory issues
While I take full responsibility for that, the blessing part of it is that it’s overall better for my mental health that I forget this stuff.
Unfortunately, it ends up putting other people in bad situations, and I’m starting to recognize that more and more.