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: Indigenous Terror 
@malokiThis is one of the reasons why I practice apologizing fairly fast. Unless it's something that I need to process a bit longer (because that's also true).
A fast apology isn't always going to be honest, but over time this process will go fast for you, and you'll be able to figure out where you went wrong, and apologize for your part in it.
@maloki
It's a paradoxical cycle. I tend to blame myself by default, even when things aren't my fault. As a result I blame others easily too - a direct reflection on how I treat myself.
@maloki@Rovine oh yes. However, I find that people who blame themselves immediately may also not reflect, and this can also be toxic.
Especially when you put that to the other person in what becomes quite a passive aggressive way. You know?
@maloki
I think we interpreted the word "reflection" differently here. I meant it like "what we do to ourselves, we do to others", and I think you meant "reflecting on what we've done". Do correct me if I'm wrong.
@maloki@Rovine yes. That's what I mean.
@maloki the first step of fixing a problem is identifying that a problem exists
the second step is figuring out where/what the problem is
the third step takes the remaining 1% of the problem solving process