Harp, her royal highness Princess Sugartits @wigglytuffitout@elekk.xyz
- pronouns?
- she/her
- switch?
- SW-4830-7360-8912
- fashion?
- sweetdisabled.com !
- YOOM?
- TAH!
33 y/o , token cishet, ex-tumblr-user, spoonie, 15 chronic conditions in a trenchcoat, and actual cyborg.
i am white to the point of considering ham salad a valid food item; also a member of the "green fluff is good, actually!" brigade
my CWs are often isekais. also i made a bingo card once
come into my cellar fortunado, i promise there is only a nice vintage of shitpost and i will absolutely not brick you in with walls of text
please read the pins before you toss me a follow request! i'd appreciate it, thanks! 💖
header done by gavinwolf formerly of snouts.online
~ * testimonials * ~
"this is why I'm admin and you're the sidekick screaming child" - milly milbert mcmoderator
"this is going in your bio isn't it" - also milly milbert mcmoderator
"we are both 5 pounds of lace stapled to 50 pounds of anxiety" - kat primarina-harpy
"harp is a different breed of shitposter. its like reading a stand-up bit" - cyrene "cyrenesavage.com" savage
"If harp was paid per letter to toot we would never have to worry about money in this friends circle again" - rhys "rhys" rhys
"People have referred to it as a "bit" before but let me tell you: this isn't a bit. Harp is just Like This." - rhys "it's rhys again" rhys
"harp has five thousand letters I am terrified of what she'd do with more" - miss ellie "snake? Snake? SNAAAAAAAKE!...mom" ellingbert
"the hot grapes is what makes her do the sins" - rhys "rhys "it's rhys again" rhys" rhys
"a force of absolute chaos and should be feared" - noted radio personality ethan c. retrosocial
"If anybody can uncover the proper etiquette of a classy keg stand, it's Harp. Either through sheer research, or reasoning from first principles." - Commodore Canry DissonantEevee-GlaceonSocial the Third
Joined Aug 2019
Sometimes I am good at writing. Most of the time I am not, but I have a good time anyway
"Oh harp, it can't be THAT bad!"
Camera slides over to my gdoc drafts...
At least the first bunch is from a proper crossover. ...with Splatoon 2 octo expansion. Because the m-rated occult conspiracy modern fantasy mmorpg is absolutely what the people want crossed over with their silly squid kid paintball woomy times
I have no such excuse for the profile of my warframe character in the same style
Nothing besides "idk I just think the buzzing would groove in there" at least
I'm just going to repeat the self-roast I did in the tags there for explanation about it becoming my schtick
In my defense, as shticks go, it's REALLY fun to write
(See https://archiveofourown.org/works/19402957/chapters/46174204 which is same concept but little profiles for various ffxiv characters of mine)
Once I get writing done for things like my doctor visit, I need to try writing some with graphics tablet. Bc I have other Batman shit to write
"Is it about your au -" no "well then which -" All Of Them
Because it's going to be written in faux The Buzzing lore entries from the secret world.
...i think that may be becoming my schtick, looking at my ao3 account and my works in progress
/ 
: Candy Connoisseur
@wigglytuffitout it's a harp shitpost that plays the long game.
i hope i have hit the right note of giving ffxiv 'spoilers' that are utterly incomprehensible and don't actually spoil shit, they're instead there to linger in the mind until after the point they're spoiling, when the recipient is in the shower idly thinking and then they figure it out and just have a moment of oh goddammit!!!!
@wigglytuffitout @magicalmilly if nothing else this game has done an amazing job of making me terrified of balls
milo, open this to be given a nonsense phrase that will lurk in your brain being nonsense right up until you hit a certain sidestory boss fight around the end of shadowbringers in ffxiv at which point you will hear the music and think of this post and then come murder me in my bed
ah yes it's time for dramatic boss fight music -
beef soft tacos, beef soft tacos, beef soft tacos SO BEEF,
ok this is tangential but as i've been chewing on the martian manhunter fitting into my ridiculousness (and. it turns out. being an absolute wellspring of angst.), but. j'onn is neat, fastidious, and on some fundamental level absolutely disgusted by human reprouction methods. why is everything so... soggy. WHY IS IT SO SOGGY. he is HORRIFIED.
this does lead in to him Getting Got by bats though
as batman knows that j'onn is very well trained in spycraft, and ends up doing a lot of it almost on reflex.
so what do you do to deter the spy in order to give yourself privacy?
he didn't even waste time trying to triple-encrypt shit. instead he casually left something with just enough security to be plausible, knowing that j'onn would easily defeat said security. and left j'onn a little trap.
said trap meant j'onn couldn't look bruce in the eye for about a week after
properly curious, clark asks bruce what the fuck he wrote. it turns out that among some boring what-you'd-expect data gathering notes, popped neatly into the middle of his little journal is the following:
*things that give a man a sense of power
- money
- authority/status
- agency
- making superman moan like the dirty little slut he is!*
clark blushes so hard he falls out of his chair. bruce just gloats at the details of his master plan. he didn't have to make the dots in the Is and the point in the ! be hearts, but going that extra mile really helps it hit its mark
@wigglytuffitout@elekk.xyz @noelle@chat.noelle.codes
APPARENTLY IT IS SEMI-CANON GIMME A MINUTE
@wigglytuffitout@elekk.xyz @noelle@chat.noelle.codes
From JLA #27, J'onn uses Sailor Mars's civilian name as a fake identity, Bruce Wayne calls him on it
http://sailormoonnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/batman_calls_out_martian_manhunter_hino_rei_full_page-497x1024.jpg
@wigglytuffitout cc @crash , to whom this has never happened
@wigglytuffitout "Tonight, Superman am playing lawful good paladin!"
"...Clark, your sheet says 'rogue'."
"It do not!"
"Hang on a second."
they confer.
"So that's totally Bizarro, right?"
"Yeah, but..."
"What?"
"It'd be nice to have a change, you know?"
"What?"
"Clark always plays a lawful good paladin. Maybe a rogue will shake things up."
"Bruce, your boyfriend is missing and has been replaced by an extradimensional impostor."
"Look, if he hasn't freed himself by the time the session's done, we'll go find him."
"But--"
"It'll make him feel better. Ego boost. And besides, he'd want us to welcome a new player to the table."
"...I desperately wish I could find a way to argue with that."
@wigglytuffitout "Hey guys, I've got a great idea for a charact--"
"four voices at once NO."
@wigglytuffitout They run into each other at Gothikon:
"Officer Kyle! What are you doing here?"
"...what are you doing here?"
"Are you kidding? I love this stuff. But I never took you for--"
"No, wait. You need to explain more."
"Oh, the outfit?"
"Yes the outfit."
"Well, cosplay - that's costume play - is an integral part of --"
"I know what cosplay is, jackass, I'm -- no, we're talking about your costume."
"What can I say? I'm a fan of the classics."
"You are dressed as Sailor Moon."
"She always saves the day! It's aspirational! Now, let's talk about your costume, Officer..."
@wigglytuffitout Prompt: Bruce Pennyworth, Clark Kent, Lina "Inverse" Kyle, and Pam Isley play D&D
- pronouns?
- she/her
- switch?
- SW-4830-7360-8912
- fashion?
- sweetdisabled.com !
- YOOM?
- TAH!
33 y/o , token cishet, ex-tumblr-user, spoonie, 15 chronic conditions in a trenchcoat, and actual cyborg.
i am white to the point of considering ham salad a valid food item; also a member of the "green fluff is good, actually!" brigade
my CWs are often isekais. also i made a bingo card once
come into my cellar fortunado, i promise there is only a nice vintage of shitpost and i will absolutely not brick you in with walls of text
please read the pins before you toss me a follow request! i'd appreciate it, thanks! 💖
header done by gavinwolf formerly of snouts.online
~ * testimonials * ~
"this is why I'm admin and you're the sidekick screaming child" - milly milbert mcmoderator
"this is going in your bio isn't it" - also milly milbert mcmoderator
"we are both 5 pounds of lace stapled to 50 pounds of anxiety" - kat primarina-harpy
"harp is a different breed of shitposter. its like reading a stand-up bit" - cyrene "cyrenesavage.com" savage
"If harp was paid per letter to toot we would never have to worry about money in this friends circle again" - rhys "rhys" rhys
"People have referred to it as a "bit" before but let me tell you: this isn't a bit. Harp is just Like This." - rhys "it's rhys again" rhys
"harp has five thousand letters I am terrified of what she'd do with more" - miss ellie "snake? Snake? SNAAAAAAAKE!...mom" ellingbert
"the hot grapes is what makes her do the sins" - rhys "rhys "it's rhys again" rhys" rhys
"a force of absolute chaos and should be feared" - noted radio personality ethan c. retrosocial
"If anybody can uncover the proper etiquette of a classy keg stand, it's Harp. Either through sheer research, or reasoning from first principles." - Commodore Canry DissonantEevee-GlaceonSocial the Third
Joined Aug 2019
