do y'all also sometimes just think back to your horse girl days and remember the horsey knowledge you have somehow accumulated and reflect on how just

horses, as far as critters go, will just self-destruct at the absolute drop of a hat

very glad that vet science has progressed to the point where not every single horse injury ends in "welp, go get my revolver from the house", but wow a lot of them do still end up like that

plus the things like bloat and whatnot and just several layers of "i'm sorry but your racehorse ate too fast and now it's dead"

some countermeasures are delightful however, like "oh no the racing horse we have bred to go very fast is also the world's most nervous animal, on account of that being good for the go fast. how do we get this creature to not keel over dead of a panic-induced heart attack before it wins the big race"

the solution is you pair big nervous with small fearless, which is to say, a goat

horse go "omg should i freak out??????", goat go "lmao nah it's cool" and horse chills out

there are some stable goats that were brought in before the kentucky derby even lmao, like "if you did not bring your horse's goat along, here are some community goats"

even better plot twist: zoos do this same trick but with cheetahs who are also full of nervousness. cheetahs get their chill out buddy of a dog lmao

@wigglytuffitout The only time I fell off of a horse it was because another horse on the other side of a fence started running and the horse I was on decided he wanted to run too and took off so fast that he just left me behind

@wigglytuffitout despite not having more of a horse girl phase (beyond the one time I got to play that bella sara card collecting/online game) I have way too much knowledge on how poorly built horses are

@wigglytuffitout They are evolved to do one thing and one thing only: Bolt as fast as is biologically possible in one specific direction for as long as is biologically possible.

And much like a stripped down racecar that has had all its safety mechanics removed for additional speed, horses can do very little beyond their singular assigned organic task when complications arise

@wigglytuffitout lmao I didn't show more and for a minute thought you were going for a visual gag lol

long, horse silliness 

@wigglytuffitout "I don't know about anyone else, but I know for a fact that horses are stupider than shit and WILL kill themselves if you don't take an absurd amount of precautions and adorn them in the right silly accessories so that they don't scare themselves and fall over dead, and even then at best you can reduce the chances that they will do that, but they're still absolutely going to. Women who are obsessed with horses are just as bad as ones who are obsessed with anything else, but it may be dumber because it's a placeholder for animalistic male sexuality; however, in reality, it doesn't hold up because dominant male sexual energy is incompatible with horse personality and tendencies because, again, they're absolutely going to kill themselves by accident, whereas studs and straight power tops are highly unlikely to catch their reflection in a mirror then break their leg and get eaten by a mountain lioness"

"Of course, if you don't nail little metal rings onto them, they'll split open, and then they'll die."

"I personally guarantee you a dog will never in this life hear a bee then have a heart attack out of fear, dying."

"Babies grow up and that's okay, it's like, sometimes a great meal is worth a lot of prep, for example. Horses only get more likely to die from a stupid reason as they get older. Oh poor ol' Freckles, thought of ants and died."

"With horses, there is no such thing as a natural death at any point in existence: they've strictly only died from stupid shit. Saw water and passed away."

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Elekk: Gameing and Other Delightful Pursuits

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