@lapis has to be earlier... Shit posting is just a human thing to do

@alice Oh I'm sure it is, but the question is do we have evidence of it! Maybe I should make that my goal, find the world's first human shitpost!

@lapis blessed research this is 😂

I.2.20 (Bar/Brothel of Innulus and Papilio); 3932: Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!

I.2.23 (peristyle of the Tavern of Verecundus); 3951: Restitutus says: “Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates”.

@lapis
oh

I.4.5 (House of the Citharist; below a drawing of a man with a large nose); 2375: Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.

I.7.1 (in the vestibule of the House of Cuspius Pansa); 8075: The finances officer of the emperor Nero says this food is poison

I.7.8 (bar; left of the door); 8162: We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.

II.2.3 (Bar of Athictus; right of the door); 8442: I screwed the barmaid

II.3.10 (Pottery Shop or Bar of Nicanor; right of the door); 10070: Lesbianus, you defecate and you write, ‘Hello, everyone!’

II.4.1 (bar; left of the door, near a picture of Mercury); 8475: Palmyra, the thirst-quencher

II.7 (gladiator barracks); 8767: Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.

III.5.1 (House of Pascius Hermes; left of the door); 7716: To the one defecating here. Beware of the curse. If you look down on this curse, may you have an angry Jupiter for an enemy.

III.5.3 (on the wall in the street); 8898: Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog

V.5 (just outside the Vesuvius gate); 6641: Defecator, may everything turn out okay so that you can leave this place

VI.14.20 (House of Orpheus); 4523: I have buggered men

VI.16.15 (atrium of the House of Pinarius); 6842: If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girl friend

VII.9 (Eumachia Building, via della Abbondanza); 2048: Secundus likes to screw boys.

VII.12.18-20 (the Lupinare); 2175: I screwed a lot of girls here.

VII.12.18-20 (the Lupinare); 2192: Sollemnes, you screw well!

VIII.1 (above a bench outside the Marine Gate); 1751: If anyone sits here, let him read this first of all: if anyone wants a screw, he should look for Attice; she costs 4 sestertii.

VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1820: Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!

VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1826: Phileros is a eunuch!

VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1864: Samius to Cornelius: go hang yourself!

VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1881: Virgula to her friend Tertius: you are disgusting!

VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1882: The one who buggers a fire burns his penis

VIII.7.6 (Inn of the Muledrivers; left of the door); 4957: We have wet the bed, host. I confess we have done wrong. If you want to know why, there was no chamber pot

IX.8.3 (House of the Centenary; in the latrine near the front door); 5243: “Secundus defecated here” three time on one wall.

Herculaneum (on the exterior wall of a house); 10619: Apollinaris, the doctor of the emperor Titus, defecated well here

That's all the ones I liked anyway. There's a lot of them http://www.pompeiana.org/Resources/Ancient/Graffiti%20from%20Pompeii.htm

See, this would be a beautiful thing. Translating graffiti about boning people.

@lapis I've always been fond of "The petty thieves ask for Vatia as aedile", myself.

@ghost_bird Shoot I think I missed that one.

@lapis It’s not on the page you linked to, but it gets into a lot of textbooks.

@ghost_bird I have a book on pompeii I haven't read yet that's been sitting on my shelf haunting me ;_;

@lapis They do that. I should probably read Mary Beard's book, which is said to be very good.