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so far zelda and link are both being set up as disaster bisexuals

this author also knows that Zelda is taller than Link and thinks Link is horny about it

despite these things they are really bad at romantic tension, or romance in general; they are clearly eager to get to the fucking part of the story because this part is making my eyes glaze over

they’re doing the whole “Zelda secretly watched Link masturbate while they were on the road together” trope but they are failing to be horny about it

i’m very unconvinced these characterizations resemble canon

what do fanfic authors think “animalistic” noises sound like? what kind of animal, do you think?

moaning is very human i haven’t heard many animals moan

woof woof woof bark

« now Link made a noise, though this noise was one of shock. In response, Zelda simply kissed him harder, and that seemed to work » this does not work do not do this

this author writes pretty good dialogue which is a real shame because as soon as they started trying to fuck each other they stopped talking

leverage your strengths!!

we have reached the part where they put “licked” in italics

that’s how you know it’s hot, the font change