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I'm not ready

I was out walking Mozi right after I posted this (I actually posted this while walking her but this anecdote still takes place after) and there was a brief moment of what I call Witch Weather.

Witch Weather happens on nights like this, on the cusp between seasons when your feelings are, for one reason or another, just a little heightened. The moon peeks out from behind the clouds or the tree you just passed under, and suddenly everything stops. Just for a moment, the world is quiet but for the soft breath of the wind swirling around you.

In that moment I realized I've been trying too hard to hold on to the summer for a lot of different reasons. It's been a shit year for me and I feel like I lost this summer. It just passed me by. But I can't do anything about that now, I can't fight the seasons. The summer will return and I will hopefully be prepared to meet it next time around, but desperately trying to hold on to it now will only mean I also miss this brief, perfect part of fall before all the leaves are gone and the world turns grey.

I'm still not ready, but I'm willing to let go.