ph, mh 

Went clothes shopping today, and good lord, that was an adventure. The women at the store were more than helpful, but because I didn't know what I was looking for, they basically brought me one of everything to try on. It was rather overwhelming, honestly.

After a little while, I did start figuring out what I liked and what looked good on me, so I've got a wardrobe now.

For example, using a women's changing room seems foreign to me yet, but I suppose there's not gonna be a much better environment to get used to it.

Headed out to Salt Lake City this weekend to visit with some friends I haven't seen in over a year. I'm out to them, and one really wants to take me clothes shopping at a trans friendly big and tall store.

I forgot to take measurements before leaving for the airport this morning, so that definitely means trying stuff on at the store. I'm a little nervous about that, but a major benefitsl of being in a large city is that I'm never gonna see most of those people again.

ph, blood 

A coworker of mine just released a masterpiece of a new programming language, IntercalScript:

I'm a programming languages nerd, and this is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time 😂 The README just gets better and better as you scroll down, and everything in it has been properly implemented in a self-hosting compiler!

Spent the evening painting a new mini for my Kobold ranger/rogue. The only thing I don't like about how it turned out is that the scales are nearly the same color as the grass he's standing on. Other than that, I think it turned out really well.

I guess feelings are just freaking hard, y'all. I just gotta keep moving and keep the hope that things will really be better once I've made it through the hard part.

The internet seems to say I'm supposed to "just know" when I've found the "right" name. I don't hate Cass (though I think I sightly prefer Cassie or Cassandra, but that seems like a lost cause already), but I'm not 100% convinced it's "right".

I dunno. Ignoring that last holdout in the thinking part of my brain and just diving in where me feelings point me has been my guiding philosophy so far, so I guess I'll keep doing that here.

So, I came out to my Pathfinder group tonight. They were enthusiastically supportive like I'd hoped, and they (mostly) managed to call me "Cass" for the rest of the night per my request.

At what point does being called a different name stop being weird? Like, I found myself smiling when someone used Cass in casual conversation, but it still seems weird to me, especially my closest friend who made it a point to use the name more often than necessary to give me more experience.

At least the line for TSA was mercifully short this morning. I think I've even got time for breakfast before boarding.

Speaking of Pathfinder tonight, I've decided that they're gonna be the first group I come out to.

I've been thinking about a name to be called for weeks now. My thoughts on Cassandra are basically "eh, I think it works", but I need to be called that for a bit IRL to know if it feels right too. Considering RPG groups juggle character names all night, this seems to be the perfect environment to try it out.

The real answer is that my home airport has like three flights a day, and this was as late as I could manage while still making the mid-day connection so I could be back in time for Pathfinder tonight. Doesn't make getting up two hours earlier than usual any easier, though.

Ugh, I'm up much earlier than I'd otherwise like to be. Why did I book my return flight before 10am again?

Tonight, I saw a Smart Car with the license plate "ICANFIT", appropriately parallel parked. Wish I'd gotten a picture.

Made it to my SV-area Airbnb. This place is impeccably clean, and to my surprise, completely empty. I was under the impression that I'd be staying with coworkers.

While I'm sitting in the airport in Seattle, waiting for my (now delayed) connecting flight, they literally just called for "John Smith" over the intercom. I thought that name was so generic that nobody was actually called that anymore?

Boarded my initial flight down to California. This leg is headed to SEA, because my local airport goes literally nowhere else. If I wanted a direct flight, I'd have to drive for almost an hour to the next closest airport, which I think has a few directs to SLC and SFO along with the hoppers to SEA.

To-do progress for the evening:

[x] start laundry
[ ] clean the house
[x] build secret santa wishlist
[x] book flight to visit friends in Utah

I think that's probably good enough for tonight.

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