Normalize quitting things. It could be school, work, relationships, hobbies, or pretty much anything.

Quitting is often thought of as inherently negative; nobody wants to be called a "quitter". But there are plenty of situations where not only is it reasonable, it's the *best* course of action.

You can drop out college or switch majors when you don't care about the thing you're studying. You can end a relationship when it becomes toxic. You can stop playing a game that you don't enjoy.

personal, - 

I've spent so much of my life doing things I didn't care about, purely because I didn't want to be seen as a quitter.

I spent a good chunk of my childhood playing sports I hate that my parents wanted me to play. When I expressed disinterest, my parents would always frame it as me being lazy, or as "giving up", as if that was inherently a bad thing. They got me to waste years on things I hate this way, because being a quitter, in any context, was considered a mark of bad character.

We're often taught that quitting, in and of itself, is a bad thing. But it's... just not. It's value neutral.

Now, having the ability and will to stick with something through difficult times is a good trait... IF that thing is worth sticking with in the first place. Plenty of things aren't. Some things will be for some people, and won't be for others.

And if you give something a proper chance and determine that it's not? Then quit! I'm not just saying you can, I'm saying you should!

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In the case of hobbies, you can always go back to it later if you *really* want to give it another chance anyway. What you can't do is get back the time you spend fruitlessly trying to make something work when it's simply not for you.

I say that part from personal experience. I've spent so much time trying to convince myself that I enjoyed things that I didn't.

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Protip: if you're having fun, you shouldn't have to actively convince yourself that you're having fun. It took me a surprisingly long time to learn this lesson.

So, just, be willing to make that call, I guess. It doesn't make you less worthy, or a disappointment, or whatever other inane thing people will try to convince you of. It's okay to quit!

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@MisterBeret but if I quit, I’ll feel like I let people down, including myself.

@KBY30 I totally get that feeling! And of course this is all easier said than done. But being totally honest here? I think I'd rather be a disappointment if it means that I'm doing what makes me happy


@MisterBeret the thing is I don’t do anything else and I already feel like a massive disappointment, so quitting now would basically be a death blow to my self-esteem.

I understand that what you’re saying isn’t supposed to apply to me, it’s just general advice.

But I don’t wanna be a disappointment anymore.

thank you! (personal story inside) 

@MisterBeret I really needed this, thank you. I get really down on myself when I'm not able/willing to finish something, mostly with games, even though my track record is pretty good if I enjoy what I'm playing.

I also spent a year at a job I was constantly miserable at and couldn't quit because I didn't know what to do, and my parents weren't really any help because "we all have jobs we hate doing"

so, thank you for the affirmation!

thank you! (personal story inside) 

@kelerak Well, I'm glad someone found it helpful! And ugh, that whole "we all have jobs we hate" logic is that absolute worst. I've had that line used against me and people I know so many times. It's just a cheap way to downplay and ignore people's suffering.

thank you! (personal story inside) 

@MisterBeret ironically, after you posted this, my mom is forcing my youngest brother into a sport even though he doesn't want to do one (and already doing a martial art)

so yeah

thank you! (personal story inside) 

@kelerak Oof, that's rough. I'm glad he at least has some support though. When that happened to me, if I'd just had anyone in my life explaining to me that it was okay to quit, I think I would've been much better off.

I agree. Instead of saying "quitting", how about "changing"?

And for hobbies, this may not be what you mean, but:

"Scanners tend to embrace everything that excites and inspires them — only to ditch those interests when something even more interesting attracts their attention." ‘People [give] scanners ... a lot of grief for never finishing what they start,’ observes Sher. ‘... Scanners do finish things, it’s just that they do it on their own terms.'

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Elekk: Gameing and Other Delightful Pursuits

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