Archmage @[email protected]

thinkin about several years ago when a satellite crashed into Asia and my dad said, without missing a beat, "it must not have been properly Oriented"

Bird Call smacks the cell phone out of your hand. "The feds can turn that thing into a microphone and tracking collar whenever they want. Stay here and don't look up too much." She kicks off the ground and flaps up to the phone lines. They only bend under her weight a little. She effortlessly patches her handset in and places the call with a few seconds of pitch perfect listening. Someone halfway across the country sees their caller ID light up.

WE GOOD
1-420-723-2473

They pick up the phone, press a button, and hang up.

She lands back on the ground. "Two if by sea. Let's go."

Shit I forgot to study the blade, can I copy yours?

nerds: oh my god AI is gonna get smart and then we are all gonna DIE!!!!!!

actual AI researchers: why the fuck does my neural net classify this picture of a panda as an ice cream cone

I also made this one

We should normalise choosing your own name

Horse discourse
Dischourse

Referring to my teenage years as "the worst arc of the show so far"

when i moved here i was so encouraged because there was a trans person on like every single bus i rode but now that i commute by bus the system has rearranged itself to account for that and now when i take the bus, i am the city mandated trans person on the bus

You pick a phrase, you pick a rhyme,
Repeat the sound another time,
Five iambs, then an extra beat'll do ya.
Another rhyme, a rising note -
Congratulations, you just wrote
Another goddamn verse to "Hallelujah"

(orig: amatalefay on Tumblr)

If you chopped up 317 trillion kilograms of onion, it could cover the entire UK in a nearly 2 meter-thick layer of onion

in a better world i would accomplish one of two things: bring B Method formal validation to American automated metro systems, or spend 12 years making an ambitious jrpg

You’ve heard of alphabet soup, now get ready for

Times New Ramen